Violent Doughnut Ring Smashed

If you love doughnuts, no matter which kind, wouldn’t this headline intrigue you?

It did me.

Fight over us

  • I flashed back to my childhood when I would save my pennies and nickels to buy a doughnut at the specialty doughnut bakery on my walking route to school.
  • I imagined a war between doughnuts. Of course, the chocolate frosted, cream-filled center Cyclops would clobber the jelly-filled, sugared Bismarcks.
  •  I pictured an epic battle, maybe in 3D that would rival Conan’s latest movie adventure.
  • I figured if I could stay awake late enough I’d see this headline featured on Jay Leno’s weekly Headlines with its comical examples.

But this headline blared violent doughnut ring smashed. I had to read the full article.

To save a doughnut...

Evidently a Greek seashore community was having trouble with competing vendors of the doughy treats. One group had cornered the market with its unfair and violent tactics.  When an undercover officer posing as a doughnut seller was attacked by this vicious group, the police were finally able to apprehend the aggressive group after some pitched fighting.

Now, picture the possible scenes of pitched fighting. Undercover agent/doughnut seller beating off thugs with a barrage of jelly doughnuts, or oh no, my Cyclops!!!! Thugs hammering the police with fritters, glazed confections, elephant ears. And the most damaging—custard-filled long Johns.

But peace has been restored on the Greek seashore. The doughnut thugs have been arrested and charged with many heinous crimes. They may even go to prison where they won’t see a doughnut. Serves them right, don’t you think?

Busted...doughnut vendors now safe.

Most importantly, Greek doughnut vendors are once again able to ply their calorie-laden goodies. Peace is restored .

And I still chuckle each time I think about that headline. I expect I’ll remember it for quite a while.

That headline is sure much better than the ongoing news regarding Hurricane Irene, and those of us safe elsewhere worry and pray for the victims of Irene’s destruction. I have many loved ones who live in that area. My thoughts are with them today. I wish they could be enjoying instead visions of violent doughnut wars instead of wind and rain driven violence.

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13 Comments on “Violent Doughnut Ring Smashed”

  1. OMG, this is great! I especially love your take on it. Thanks for the smile as I head back to my WIP in between making a huge batch of spaghetti sauce to can today.

    I’m really interested in the headline you could come up with for warring Italian pasta makers.

  2. caseyclifford Says:

    Let’s see, warring Italian pasta makers. Uhm…

    Roaring rotini chefs flour it up with linguini artists?

    I’m proud of you–canning spaghetti sauce. Yum 🙂

  3. Cyndie Kimball Says:

    Oh Mary Jo,
    I remember quite vividly the doughnut shop you are talking about – and yes, I agree that the creme filled doughnuts would win hands down!
    And may all our relatives in the path of Hurricane Irene be safe. I can report that my daughter, Jenn, who lives/works in DC weathered the storm without mishap and is out enjoying a beautiful day there today. And my nephew, Erik (Claudia’s son) living/working in NYC is safe today as well. May all the others have that same blessing – which will surely bring a smile to us all.
    Love, Cyndie

  4. caseyclifford Says:


    I’m so glad you think Cyclops would win! And you remember the Donut Hole. Did your class order donuts for First Fridays? I think that was one day everyone in class would never miss school–even if they were really sick!

    So glad Jenn is okay. She and Erik were two of those on my mind today.

  5. This is the craziest post I’ve read in a long time…LOL You are too funny, Mary Jo. 🙂 Now I’m going to have visions of warring donuts all day long.

    And I’ll keep all of your loved ones in Irene’s path in my prayers. *hugs*

  6. Any idea how I can fix it so my name doesn’t read ‘Donna Marie Rogers Marie Rogers’? LOL I tried, but cannot figure it out to save my life.

  7. caseyclifford Says:


    It’s probably an error in your personal information which you’ve used to set up your blog or your computer settings. I’d think the blog setting would be part of your blog site where only you can go and your computer settings for internet would be part of whatever you’ve put in for that.

    But I’m far from an expert. Except for maybe donuts when I was a kid. Thanks for enjoying my blog. Heard from several of my loved ones but still not all.

  8. Edie Ramer Says:

    I love this. I didn’t spend my money on bakery when I was a child–I used mine for comic books! And perhaps a candy bar or ice cream cone. But once in a while, my mom would walk to the bakery and bring back a bag for us 5 kids. We had a very good neighborhood bakery.

    Thanks for bringing back the memory to me.

  9. caseyclifford Says:


    Belive me I didn’t have much money as a kid. So those do9ughnuts were few and far between.

    I’m so glad you like this post and it brought back memories of your childhood, 🙂

  10. Kathy Says:

    Mary Jo,
    Thanks for the chuckle today! I too remember The Donut Hole. Used to skip CCD class and hang out there until it was over. And, yes, I got caught doing it! The memory of a cyclops is about all I have up here. Bakers up here don’t know what a cyclops is or how to make a torte cake.:( Now that Mom’s back in Kenosha, I can get my fix again!

  11. caseyclifford Says:

    Hi Kathy,

    Glad you stopped in and so glad your mom’s back in K-town. I’ve missed her so much.

    Ah yes, those torte cakes. Not that my pennies and nickels ever added up to one of those delicious bits of caloric heaven. 🙂

  12. virginia mccullough Says:

    I hoarded pennies for donuts, too, and from a bakery next to the elevated train station where the smells were always present–getting off the train, walking to school, always. The only question was sugar or glazed.

    Loved your take on this…very funny.


  13. caseyclifford Says:

    Hi Virginia,

    I always think I can’t write humor since I’m not very humorous but I’m glad that so many have thought this post was. The original article wasn’t intended to be funny, I’m sure, which is why it was–at least to me. But then I can be weird…

    Also love that the post has prompted so many memories for others to share. 🙂

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